“Did You Pack Your Manners?” A Retired Cop’s Rant on Modern Travel
Travel Etiquette-Where has it Gone?
Summertime, summertime, sum, sum, summertime…Ah, yes, it’s summer, school’s out, family vacations are starting, and people are flying the Friendly Skies or sailing into the sunset on cruises to all parts of the country and around the world. So why is an OpEd author, who primarily covers law enforcement-related topics, writing about travel? Well, I’ll tell you. Having worked for the Miami-Dade Police, I am part of a somewhat exclusive club, having been assigned to the busiest cruise port in the world, Port Miami, in the 2000s, and then to one of the busiest airports, Miami International, known as the “Gateway to Latin America.” I won’t bore you with how and why I ended up at either station, or the myriad of Homeland Security responsibilities that are the overriding concerns with ports of entry. Seaports and airports, being high, multi-billion-dollar economic engines and critical infrastructure, are great topics for articles in and of themselves. What I wish to write about is what we as cops are witness to: a ringside seat to the traveling public’s behavior. You may well be shocked.
The Love Boat
Let’s begin with cruising. Port Miami, along with Port Everglades in Ft Lauderdale, seesaw back and forth for the heavyweight title of busiest cruise port, and boasts having the largest cruise ships in the world, especially as the rebound from the pandemic continues. These ships are floating islands, mini-cities having anywhere from 4,000 to 7,000 passengers and crew aboard. As you’ve heard, cruising is one of the most popular ways to vacation. You have “all-inclusive” packages where food, drinks, gambling, drinks, activities, entertainment, drinks, excursions, and did I mention drinks, are usually part of the deal, and they are great! You have “Julie,” the Cruise Director, “Captain Stubbing,” “Doc Bricker,” “Purser Gopher Smith,” and of course “Isaac the Bartender,” what else could you want? You can party and go back to your cabin and crash, no matter how drunk you are. Did I mention drinks? No driving or DUIs required. I am not trying to sour you on cruising. Over 25 million people cruise every year, and when you are on a great cruise line and people behave, you’re having the time of your life. But sometimes, having this many people in a confined space can lead to problems.
For the most part, it’s smooth sailing on the high seas. The trip goes as planned and advertised, and a good time is had by all. But, sometimes and with increasing frequency, we see news reports and social media videos of fights breaking out involving large groups of people, and it becomes a melee. We also see quite a bit of crime reported on cruise ships, both before departures and arrivals, and police are called to document the incidents. I’m going to say something now that is going to upset some, but the majority of these incidents (fights & crimes), based on our experiences at Port Miami, occur on Carnival Cruise Lines. Yes, it’s true, and though Carnival and Royal Caribbean are 1 & 2 in number of passengers and revenue, we’ve seen the majority of this behavior on Carnival. Why? We believe that it has to do with very high passenger counts and very low fares, which attract a less sophisticated and younger, immature crowd, and some folks just don’t seem to have impulse control. It was so pervasive that we had our own nickname for Carnival: “The Jerry Springer of the Cruise Lines.” Hey, in our eyes, Carnival, you earned it. Just say’n!
Air Travel
My time at Miami International Airport Station, at the end of my career, was a very interesting and eye-opening experience. I am an aviation buff, and being around jet liners, both inside and outside on the tarmac, was just so cool! But inside the terminal, it was what we sometimes referred to in our profession as a circus.
Most people come to the airport, check in, go through TSA security checkpoints, and board their plane, not aware of anything taking place. What often happens, though, is that some people spend their time waiting in the concourse bar, and they drink, drink, and drink some more. Did I mention drinking again? By the time they are ready to board their flight, they are so sh#t-faced they can barely walk. Two things happen here: they get to the gate, and the gate agent denies them entry, and they go off and make a scene. Call the police. Or they somehow make it onto the plane and, before departure, get into it with the cabin crew and make a scene. Call the police. See a pattern?
We arrive and now have to mitigate the incident with some drunken idiot, and you know what happens when you add alcohol to some people, Instant A$$h@@l!!! The airline will not allow you to fly in this condition as it will just lead to trouble during the flight, and the crew is not law enforcement, nor trained to deal with this. Maybe you have an Air Marshall on board, maybe you don’t, but it’s a huge problem in the air. I carry plastic zip-tie style handcuffs with me when I fly, just in case I have to slip into a nearby phone booth and reveal the “S” on my chest and save the day!
The passenger is now upset, and all Hell breaks loose. We are attempting to reason with someone who is unreasonable, and it usually ends up in an arrest. You would be amazed at how many times this happens and how many fights we end up in because of alcohol. We try to inform Jane or John Doe that the airline will rebook them on a later flight when they’ve sobered up, but Noooo! They want to go now, and the word no is not currently in their vocabulary, at least not under the influence, so again, probably an arrest.
Ticket Counter
Have you ever arrived for your flight and it’s delayed, cancelled, you were bumped due to overbooking, you were advised you couldn’t take something on board, or you didn’t get the seat you wanted? Happens every day, it’s happened to my wife and me. And while this transpires with every airline, these issues happen quite often with the so-called Discount Airlines. Notice another pattern here? The difference between most passengers and some of our police clientele is that though we are upset by the inconvenience, and that’s all it usually is, we don’t lose our minds and start yelling and creating a scene and demanding this or that. We comport ourselves and discuss the problem rationally, and even though most of the time the airline may not accommodate us at the moment, we reluctantly accept the situation and move on, not acting like a fool and becoming involved with law enforcement. And be forewarned, as soon as there is any kind of issue or the raising of voices, the agents call the police quickly!
These situations have ended in someone being shown the airport front door or the inside of a police cruiser. You decide which one you prefer, should you find yourself in these circumstances.
Dress for Success …I Think Not
Airline travel took a huge hit during the pandemic and has come back with a vengeance. Discount prices and the availability of destinations have increased air travel, and that’s great. I can’t put my finger on exactly why, but have you noticed how some people are dressing to fly? Remember the 1950s & 1960s films of passengers during the beginning of commercial passenger flights, where men sported suits and women wore dresses? Yeah, not anymore, but that’s ok since we now dress to be comfortable, right? Sometimes comfort goes too far, and we see people in bathing suits, very small bathing suits, flip-flops, tank-tops, or worse. My colleagues had to respond to a Frontier Airlines counter for a young woman checking in wearing a bedsheet. You read that right, a bedsheet with nothing on underneath. Her excuse was that she was in a hurry to catch her flight and had no time to get dressed. WTF! Needless to say, she didn’t fly that day and was shown the front door.
My wife and I were flying to New Orleans in 2018 in a three-seat row in Coach. She likes the aisle, and I like the window. Neither one of us would capitulate and take the center seat, so we ended up with a young “Skippy” between us. He seemed nice and was quiet, but he was wearing sandals. Ok, so far, but then…he took them off. Damn people! Do you know what his feet smelled like? I know you do. I didn’t say anything to keep the peace, but that was the first and last time I will allow that to happen. Gross!
Folks, we live in a polite society, mostly. Shouldn’t we all act accordingly when we’re in public and be courteous to others, follow the customs and mores that have become commonplace, and not behave like you were in your living room with no one watching? Travel is stressful enough without some of us acting like selfish, entitled Tiggers (because “I’m the only one!”), and even barbarians. C’mon man!
